The Calling

August 22, 2015

The possibility that thought was matter and that this equivalence may be divided by a number, made every belief housed in my skull obsolete. Meaning was a promise made on the fact of my existence, so I thought. I knew then I had to seek solitude. Why and what solitude meant was just as an unknown as my new predicament. In this moment recognition crept along my spine. At first it was a tingle, a feather gently stroking my skin. From the small of my back up along the trough following my spine the sensation flowed. A place of warmth emanated from the middle, between my shoulder blades.

My body seemed at ease and receptive to some message. I didn’t know what was recognised, only that a call had registered through my nervous system. Who or what was calling?

It was strange how this new ignorance appeared. The recognition was sensed complete with a set of meanings ascribed to without consent of my mind. Could this new ignorance be old knowledge long forgotten? Deep down, beneathe  layers of thought matter was the hidden destiny. This is what I felt. It didn’t matter whether it was a long forgotten bone buried by some equally long forgotten god, or just an abstraction to humour a sense of self. This hidden destiny pointed in a direction away from thought.

I lit another cigarette and walked over to the window. The sky was clear, the thunder clouds were swept away by the afternoon breeze. What was this call that began to sound in my secret emptiness? “Surely bones don’t shape one’s destiny!” I said aloud. Perhaps destiny was too big a word. My skin felt warmer all over, I closed my eyes and concentrated on an image of a candle flame. This was something I did when I was a kid before falling asleep. I felt the in and out of warm and cool air, breathed through my nostrils. Deep inside my chest, the flame burnt steadily, wax the pulse, relativity the breeze. Gentle candle smoke rose and insinuated itself along fissures and walls of my skull. My feet and hands became an extension of an invisible stranger that uses flesh and bone as a gardener uses a spade.

A snake slithered through sounds in the air. Its presence a mere hiss of silence, a soft scrape against a wall. As I looked down onto my hand resting on the window sill I recognised the snake curled up in gold around my Holy Ghost finger, a ring, a gift from a long lost friend.

“Babylon is burning at the end of your cigarette,” she said. She appeared before me with a pitcher of water in one hand and the other holding a glass. The air around me crackled – static on a phone. She whispered, “Tell me, what is a man? Wind blown dust swirling into a cone of events, swinging to and fro, like a pendulum across the face of his quarter acre block?” By now she had me in her gaze, though I could not see her eyes.

With the effort of a Houdini I replied, “I take refuge in my beliefs…..” I repeat this over and over in my mind, a merry-go -round mantra. The guns of doubt click and explode in Russian roulette timing: silent movies, iceberg expectations, half life relics, pantomime gestures. Bang! Frame by frame, every movement a question mark in human animation, every frame subtitled, ” I think, therefore I am.”. The soundtrack ever repeating “I take refuge in my beliefs”.

She placed the pitcher on the table and took a sip from the half empty glass. “You think that the real, natural heart’s,”  she pointed with her long finger , “that thing pumping in your chest. You are seriously mistaken.” She flicked some hair away from her eyes as she spread the feathers of one of her wings. Each feather had inscriptions that looked alternatively Cyrillic then Chinese with Arabic curves, Hebrew endings and Greek beginnings. All this however was just guess work for in truth I had no idea what was written. For all I knew each feather could have been a letter in this alphabet of feathers and the whole word wing a verb with an unknown subject . Perhaps the split between subject and object wasn’t even in this grammar – I was illiterate in the language of angels. I found myself  mesmerized by the area of her wing immediately to the left of her elbow. The letters or patterns were themselves hieroglyphs, or so I thought. I felt here was a mystery – how could something be itself and yet point to something else for its identity?

“This is not the time to labour the point. The whole three dimensional world presented to your senses five is a total illusion. If you could slow this holographic movie down to nearly zero you would find flesh and blood is one step removed from your real body. This real body which you fail to recognise is imperishable. It’s the same with your mind. You think that you think, that you set the perceptual and then the conceptual parameters, that the images and ideas in that psychological space are yours. They are just as synthetic as your heart.”

She stopped talking and stroked the rim of the glass with her index finger. The low hum coming from the glass punctuated the silence. She began talking again in a slightly louder whisper, “In fact your thinking is the thinking of someone else that has passed through your mind. You are property. Thoughts that cruise and fly by in your mind are visitors and have nothing to do with your volition. They enter, stay and leave, sometimes become squatters on their own accord. The cube of mind, a stage and a corridor, a cage and a peeping Tom show through cracks of vision, sound, smell, taste and sensation .”

Her countenace slowly began to fracture, crumble like a clod of dry clay and become translucent – from a Greetings Card angel to a stained glass living sculpture. Gradually her form shattered into many more countless pieces. She became a mosaic of color merging with the window. Like salt in water she dissolved through the glass and became orange streaked twilight dusk.

A snail slithers across the dome skull of history. Echoes, of prophets wailing, a curling shell. Cochlea. Earth. I heard the calling, (my) intent unknown.


Dear TAFE Colleague

August 21, 2015

It’s great hearing from you.  You asked me how I am so here goes ….

I’m sitting here ruminating about stuff.  Kinda like reviewing a movie, a film called “My Brilliant Career in TAFE”.  It has been 5 years since I left TAFE. In the first year images of TAFE World – faces, encounters, engagements, conversations and meetings kept flashing across my mind.  Scenes  rose like steam from a drying towel in the sun. Rather than in a sequence, my mind made it all appear like one of William Burrough’s cut up stories.

When TAFE got rid of Principals it also got rid of access and equity principles. From a college it became a Corporation. My nervous system became programmed to corporate tunes that had nothing to do with education. TAFE gradually became a health hazard to my hopes, dreams and life. Sure, working there helped pay   the mortgage and bills but  I feel  I am still rehabilitating from the “brilliant career”. After   5 years away I am a lot more relaxed and do not feel the need to “perform” to some KPI. Yes, I remember some of those acronyms.

I am getting to know me again.

I remember how afraid I was to leap into the world of university study. Fear may be too strong a word, but I felt I was going to lose my “mindful” innocence,  that the systemic conditioning of my thinking into the University Academic  Mould, would destroy my individuality – my soul.  Yes, it was my own Blakean song of innocence and experience.  It was my own small town version of Paradise Lost. Whatever I feared at the beginning of university became a tool of remembrance   for my  efforts  to work on myself in the Fourth Way. Fourth Way? Yeah, something I couldn’t talk about with any of you.

That’s the other thing. I wanted to tell you that one of the reasons I had to leave when I did was to ensure I didn’t have my second Saturn Return while still working in TAFE.  If I stayed my life patterns showed it would be a disaster   because I didn’t have the courage to follow my heart. I felt I couldn’t say this to you because you and others in the system would just laugh. Little did any of you know how often I used Astrology and the I Ching to strategize and coordinate projects that won national and state quality  awards. In case you’re interested here’s an example that helped introduce English for Specific Purposes Program in the BHP Workplace. No one knew except me and my muse 🙂   This is not the place to explain  Saturn Returns but if you’re interested let me know.

The old Zen images of enlightened Mind  –  “Chop wood, Carry water” and “No Moon, no water” are now hovering around my attitude.  I’m getting something nutritious in just chopping and splitting  logs for our evening fire, painting the new sleeper pine wood pegola and garden boxes with decking oil, planting seeds, cooking, reading and trading at a much more relaxed pace. Ah, trading! Yes, I’m now a Forex Trader. That’s a whole other letter – again, if you’re interested.

I’m reading drafts of many unfinished works and instead of flogging myself with guilt that they exist and NOT finished, I’m just reading them. I’m playing around with ideas and don’t know where it will take me except that I’m enjoying just catching up with my stuff…….catching up with me.

Yes, I know it all sounds narcissistic, and maybe it is,   but I feel  I need to nurture that part of me the Corporate World could not and did not value.

How are you?

Stavros


Star Code Reading > on Abbott’s Downfall

August 10, 2015

Predicting the weather within a week is unreliable let alone for a month and impossible for 6 months.  So, to forecast the political downfall of Australia’s Prime Minister in December, 2014 for May – June, 2015 can be seen as a joke and impossible. Especially so using an ancient system, Astrology, which is considered as superstition by majority of people.

By the way, Astrology for me is like weather forecasting. It is forecasting emotional/feeling weather.

How did the forecast go?

I wrote that Abbott will be demoted by end of May, 2015. Well Abbott almost lost his Prime Ministership within that period. There was a vote of non confidence and he was given 6 months to turn things around for the Government. I think that is remarkable because there was no commentator to even consider this vote of no confidence against Abbott as a possibility in December 2014.

How much time allowance can we give to a forecast that by science should be impossible to make using Astrology? If we give a season – 4 months – then the end of May can be stretched to end of September. I’m inclined to think that if Abbott should lose the leadership in any time before the next election, then my forecast isn’t too bad.

I still believe that he won’t be around for the 2016 election, but only time will tell.

However, no matter how close the prediction came to the original end of May, 2015 – it was wrong because Abbott is still Prime Minister.

From now on I will not provide dates of major turning points in Abbott’s leadership (though it is tempting) but I will state the dates in which the stars are showing his emotional weather.

As an experiment I will only delineate the rest of August, 2015 to see how it goes. I will also state the planetary configuration that prompts the interpretation in case there are readers who are familiar with astrological symbolism. It would be great if they could provide some feedback in the commentary section. I could be completely wrong!

I will be looking at September soon because of the Canning by election (on 19 September). A glance at the Abbott transits for September show that he will be in major conflict soon after the by election. However, the August planet movements are interesting.

Emotional Weather Forecast for Tony Abbott – Prime Minister of Australia

August 10 – August 31, 2015

10 August 2015 

Mars is in the 10th:

First day of Parliament sitting without Bronwyn Bishop as Speaker. Mars is in the 10th house now – the house of career and social status. Mars is stimulating Abbott’s ambitions and if his vanity and arrogance are unrestrained, conflicts could arise for him.He feels he has to work for recognition as a good leader.

Saturn is in the 2nd:

This is not the time for Abbott to base his sense of security on what he has gained recently.

Uranus is in the 7th:

We may not see this because it is deeply personal but there is a sudden change in his close relationships – especially within his marriage. There is estrangement in his marriage and forces are pushing for a divorce that cannot be while he is still Prime Minister.

Pluto is in the 4th:

This placement is one of the key reasons why I believe that Abbott will fall. Its influence is not just for a day but it is reaching its climax now. Its influence will linger on for quite awhile – up to next election.

This placement is a powerful influence so there is an expectation of  sweeping and fundamental changes in domestic and psychological matters. Abbott may revert back to his old obsessive negative sloganeering.

13 August 2015

Mars square Neptune:

He will have feelings of malice and discouragement, or the desire to take evasive action. His vitality is low and he may resort to drinking more alcohol than he normally does to cope.

21 August 2015

Jupiter conjunct Pluto:

The dominant issue signified by this transit (which occurs only once every 12 years) is the use and/or abuse of power.

Abbott will feel more compelled than usual to strive for control and recognition as Leader. He will feel a culmination in all his efforts – especially the last 6 months – for this recognition and be rewarded with a stable and secure hold of the Leadership.

Pluto transits are very karmic in nature. We may witness everything he flung at Gillard boomerang onto him. His instincts for survival are heightened and he may just survive the karma hitting him.

Abbott will have an overpowering desire to achieve security in his position as Prime Minister, so much so he may become restless and challenge his own side to test his power.

For his own sense of peace he would be better off throwing himself into some major policy changes because this energy can easily turn negative for him and he can find himself being aggressive against his own people.

The best way to express this transit is to turn the energy on himself and remake himself – if he can.

25 August 2015

Mars is in the 11th:

Group activities and co-operative efforts are the best way for Abbott to  achieve his goals. He must avoid allowing his ego to attempt to dominate others. I doubt that he can do this.

27 August 2015

Mars square Sun:

He is alert to any challenge, and ready to fight. He has to avoid irritations and anger for him to remain confident.

Mars conjunct Uranus:

This phase can be upsetting. We may see strange behaviour and sudden events disrupt Government activities. There is an element of danger during these days.

29 August 2015

Mars trine Saturn:

Abbott has the energy to tackle a difficult, exacting job now. His colleagues in Government  may reward sacrifice and accomplishment. Activities are favourably structured.

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